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  • Writer's pictureThe Duffer's Diary

Duffed no more: Fancy a (another) spoonful of boob related guilt?

Updated: Dec 10, 2020

I actually don’t object to the thrust of the research behind this article and breastfeeding (when it goes well) is great and a lovely experience for mother and baby as well as all the health benefits is something of a no-brainer. Yada, yada, yada…Though for quite a lot of new mothers, it’s utterly crap.  I was lucky for a bit and then I wasn’t. Funnily enough though, Mini D strangely got healthier after a little formula came on board.  Also for the record, I think we’ve already established that I belong to the “Whatever works for you” school of parenting so be kind enough not to start wibbling on about “Breast is best”. Yes, we know. However as I’ve said in the past, formula is not arse trimmings, brick dust and raw sewage in lard either.

HOWEVER what creates involuntary bladder frothing (and clearly not in a good way) is this: Common reasons for stopping breastfeeding were problems with the baby rejecting the breast or not latching on properly, having painful breasts or nipples and feeling that they had ‘insufficient milk’.

It’s the “feeling that they had ‘insufficient milk'” comment is the one that troubles me. Sometimes it’s not just a feeling. Insufficient milk is a fact. It happened to me and Mini Chunk. If I’d persisted, he’d have been Mini Twig.  The primary and most natural way to get your milk back is to spend several days doing skin-to-skin contact (which is lovely stuff but not always entirely practical) and if you’re tired, depressed, achy or in big pain and with a child who is screaming their metaphorical bollocks off because they are slowing starving, being sequestered semi-naked in a theoretically ‘calm’ environment might actually be the thing that drives you finally and irrevocably around the fucking twist.

Being a new parent is hard enough without being encouraged into a situation that’s going to send you all The Yellow Wallpaper.

Being a new parent is also hard enough without having the media telling the world that you are/you have been a shirker or a let down. Remember that this stuff is all “ideal world” and you’ve done your best x

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