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  • Writer's pictureThe Duffer's Diary

Duffed – Caffeine

Updated: Dec 10, 2020

Health Guidelines 1 Consuming over 200mg of caffeine a day increases risk of miscarriage. I don’t normally do more caffeine than this in a day normally because large quantities make me ill.  However since becoming pregnant, this chemical has become quite essential. The judicious use of said stimulant allowance since getting up the duff is what’s preventing me from sending out work e-mails to people that contain the following content……or going through life with the delicate imprint of the middle section of my keyboard on my face because I’ve succumbed to fatigue:

Dear Stupid Person, Why aren’t you doing this yourself?  I’ve told you already and under the circumstances it’s pretty obvious that you have functioning eyes and a brain that works well enough to allow you send e-mails that have sentences in them. This leads me to believe that a) it isn’t just the case of someone has fed your Blackberry to a Shire horse, or b) you’ve been inadvertently sending bum mail because you’ve put your phone in your back pocket, forgotten about it and then sat on it.  Look into it yourself, quarter wit. Who am I, your mother? Kind Regards,

Blah, blah, blah….

Sheesh!! I like to think of caffeine as the last barrier between the world and my barely restrained inner misanthrope…

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